OUR NEIGHBOUR ROY

Kate has kindly pointed out that "tea", in England, can also be used to describe an entire meal and not just the beverage that bears the same name. As in, "Would you like to come over for tea?" could mean either

a) The Canadian Meaning: would you like to come over for a cup - well, mug - of tea, and would you like milk, sugar or lemon in your beverage, and oh by the way would you like orange pekoe, chai, chamomile, green, earl grey, or berry blend?"
or
b) The British Meaning: would you like to come over for a cup of tea, or perhaps a complete evening meal with all the fixings, depending on my tone of voice and the context in which I've just made my offer? If the former, I'm assuming you take milk and sugar; if the latter, how many potatoes would you like?"

The whole contextual issue can get pretty dicey when dealing with the older British set. By way of example, I'd like to present the case of our new neighbour Roy. Roy is a lovely elderly gentleman who lives a few doors down and he has taken Ray and I under his wing as the clearly clueless young couple in the neighbourhood. Roy comes by every few days after dinner - or "tea" - (scary that he already knows about what time we leave for work and arrive home in the evenings) to ensure that we know the following day is garbage day, to see if we'd like to borrow a gogglebox to watch the royal wedding, and other such kind gestures. We enjoy his visits both because it is nice to know someone in the neighbourhood and because each encounter can be summed up as an "Official English Experience" (if you ever get the opportunity to meet Roy, you'll understand what I'm talking about).

However, the other evening we almost got into serious trouble: after glancing through our front window to see if we were home (yes, Roy, we can see you there! Hee hee!), he rang our bell and so commenced a conversation about what was happening in the neighbourhood, etc. Not wanting to appear unsociable, I invited him in to tea, only to have him politely decline as he'd "already had his". It was only the next day that Ray pointed out to me that I had effectively invited the man over for dinner. Good thing he'd already eaten, because I didn't actually have dinner available at the time - and if I'd had, I fear that Roy might have turned up his nose at a spicy stirfry.

So be ye warned: Tea is the same as dinner, except when dinner is the same as supper, at which time tea can be served instead of supper, or before or after supper. Tea may also be served at any, or at several, time(s) during the day, unlike dinner and supper which occur once each except when they are used to describe the same meal. Thankfully, the terms "lunch" and "breakfast" still appear to be safe to use (until Robin comes on here and tells me that "lunch" actually refers to a meal taken at exactly 10:02am on Sundays only...)