HOMESICKNESS

Sometimes I am hit with a wave of homesickness so visceral, so fierce, that I can taste it. I can feel the grit on my tongue, the pull in my teeth, the ache in my gums.

I'm never sure when I'm going to feel this way, or what the particular trigger is. Today I was just sitting at my desk, and happened to think back to times when Ray and I could just get in our car and drive to Princeton for lunch, on a whim. We could get out of the city, into the mountains and forest, and just have a mad day to ourselves. Maybe it's knowing that that particular option isn't open to me at this junction that has resulted in me particularly missing "home".

Ray and I have worked very, very hard to make Cambridge and England our home. We've found ourselves a lovely home that we put a lot of care into, we enjoy our school/work, and we've made friends more wonderful people than we ever could have anticipated. But it's still not "home" in the sense that my gut remains loyal to a place thousands of miles to the west.