LOST IN TRANSLATION

Two separate instances today:

One, on the occasion of working overnight and letting security know about it:

"Please let your staff know that there will be two cars in the lot tonight".

Silence, then aggrieved:

"We call that a car park ma'am. NOT a 'lot'. I shall tell the night staff about the cars in the CAR PARK."

And two, me trying to figure out football teams:

"Arsenal vs. who? U. Eventus? U. of Ventus? Where the hell is (E)Ventus, and how does a university have a team that can take on Arsenal?"

Sigh. Roll eyes.

"That's JUVENTUS, dear, and they are an Italian football team. The 'J' is silent. I'm going to pretend that you didn't just ask me that."